Shit I Can't Believe I Deal With at Safeway: Wine Jerks

It's time for another installment of "shit I can't believe I deal with at Safeway."  Let me set this up for you.  It's Monday, around 4:40 pm.  I have finished work for the day and stop at the store at my way home.  It's sunny out, only a few clouds in the sky.  There is a nice breeze.  I have my list organized by isles (helps me be quick, and not forget items and I don't care if it makes me sound OCD), so I start on the fun side of the store.  The wine isle.

Our Safeway doesn't have a huge wine selection, and it's tucked in by the bakery/bread isle so it tends to get a little congested.  David and I have done our experimenting and have a good idea of what we like so when I go to buy wine I already know what I want and where it is.  Today was no different.  The store was busy, but not more so than usual.  I'll admit there were more kids and parents with that deer-in-the-headlights look that is not uncommon at the start of summer break.  

I get to the wine isle and I put my cart in what I hoped would be an out of the way spot (by some stale looking bread and ugly cookies).  I get my wine carriers unfolded and ready, and then head over to pull armfuls of wine from the shelf.  David and I have been enjoying the red wine lately, especially Ghost Pines Cabernet Sauvignon and 14 Hands Merlot (I know, it's a fucking Merlot...but don't judge me).  We've been buying those two for awhile now, so I knew where they were on the shelf.  

Blocking me from my precious wine are two people (Wine Jerks, henceforth called WJ) and their shopping cart.  

I stand there for a moment trying to be patient, hoping that they will see me looking anxiously at the wine and will politely move.  They are scrutinizing each bottle the pick up and wondering about how fruity or dry the wine will be.  They have a six pack in their cart with a few bottles of wine, all different.  They choose to ignore me.  Things are getting serious now.

WJ:  They are talking to one another  "Do you think this would be good on the patio before dinner?  Hmmm... that's a good question."

Me:  I am standing maybe an arms length away, looking like I really need to grab some wine 

WJ:  She pulls a bottle out of their wine carrier in the cart, "I'm still not sure about this one..." he has a bottle in each hand and is looking at each label like it will tell him a secret.

Me:  I'm starting to get fed up,  "Excuse me, can I get through and grab some wine?"  I gesture towards what I want, which is where their cart is parked.

WJ:  They both look at me as if I have asked them to leave the store immediately.  He responds,  "No, we are in the process of picking wine."

Me:  I am trying to process what he just said.  "I know what I want, it's right there... "I point at the Ghost Pines

WJ:  Still the guy, "We'll move when we are finished picking our wine!" and then he turns away from me and goes back to his slow deliberation.

Me:  I'm standing there completely gobsmacked.  They seriously wouldn't move aside even just a step?  "But I just need to get in right there... "  I again point at the Ghost Pines.

WJ:  They both look at me like I have horns (side note: if only I had horns...) He again responds, "We will move, when we are done."

So now I'm pissed.  I'm still standing there, not sure what to do.  I've never had someone say no they won't move.  The woman is down closer to the beginning of the isle and makes some excited noise about a bottle of wine.  The man takes a few steps over to meet her and inspect the bottle she is holding.  I rush in, grab all the Ghost Pines on the shelf and walk victoriously back to my cart.  There were only 2 bottles (I wanted more), so I had to go back and get some 14 Hands.  I went back and waited for another opportunity, but they were not budging so finally I just sort of pushed my way through and again snatched all the wine off the shelf.  I only got 3 bottles, I needed one more but I wasn't about to stand there and try to pick one.  So, I shot them several dirty looks and then I took my wine and went to another part of the store.  When I was done getting everything else I needed I went back to the wine section and got my last bottle (14 Hands table red or something like that).  Their cart was still there, but they were no where to be found.  I can only hope that the dirty looks I shot them as I stormed off incinerated them.

Don't get between a woman and her wine.  Seriously.  Don't.

~Emily

Life and Updates

It's been a while again since I've posted.  I've pretty much been a tired grump.  But it hasn't all been bad.  

Work has been overwhelming-lots to do and not always the most efficient way to do it.  Also, with additions to the staff it has made more/extra/additional work for me and I don't think I quite anticipated that.  I'm getting to do less of the "fun" stuff I enjoyed doing like drafting pleadings, and am having to do more the stuff I find less stimulating like administrative stuff.  Hopefully this is just a temporary thing while we all figure things out.  The good news is, I did finally get a chance to make some headway thing things that were getting backed up and causing me some anxiety and I'm feeling a little less out of control.  Here's to hoping that continues!

David and I are doing great!  We had a lovely long weekend together were we just sorta hung out, did stuff around the house, played WoW and drank some lovely wine.  We've been staying on our program of smarter eating, and walking every day (except Sunday-gotta let the body have a day to heal) and I feel like it's been paying off.  David is looking great-I am so proud of all of his hard work and progress!  I don't know how much he realizes he has changed since we started this...he is inspiring me to stay on track!  Yesterday I realized I really shouldn't be wearing the pants I had on, as they were pretty much falling off.  In fact, most of the pants I've been wearing are too loose (something I NEVER thought I'd say!), so I took a trip through my own closet and realized the pants I was waiting to be able to fit, now fit!  That was actually a huge moment for me.  I'm motivated to continue!

When I look at things all typed out here, I am again reminded how lucky I really am.  David is the best husband/partner/friend/everything I could ask for.  We are starting to get things in order around the house and in the workshop.  We've been causually playing WoW again and enjoying the new content with out the stress or pressure to play or level.  We are feeling better (despite work stress and the weather making it hard to sleep/get up sometimes) and working on being more active.  Things can only get more awesome, right?

~Emily

Three Sleeps (Well, Two Now!)

I know it's been a while since I've written here.  In a way it's good because it means I've been busy (maybe doing things I can write about when I am not so busy) but then in a way it's sad because I'm not sitting down and writing.  I just can't seem to find the balance I need to get everything done that I really want to.  That's something I really need to work on.

David is out of town for three sleeps trip.  While he's gone I use that time to try to sort through my crap and do some cleaning.  I'm hoping to do some of that this time while he's out.  I really need to reorganize and clean up my "creative" spaces.  I have things in the wrong places, and essentially I think I have the environment all wrong.  So I am going to work on that.

This time is also going to test me, to see if I can continue with the good habits we have been putting in place. Such as, making smart food choices and hauling my lazy butt out of bed in the morning to walk.  I am pleased to report, so far so good!  No binge eating or late night snacking or stopping somewhere and getting junk food of any kind.  Had a safe meal at a favorite restaurant with a friend for dinner.  Got up this morning and walked (admittedly it was a shorter walk, but I slept like crap so it was kind of amazing I got out of bed at all).  Ate a good breakfast, packed a good lunch... I totally have this under control.

~Emily

Oh How I Love My Hemi

So yesterday I was kind of grumpy.  It had been a busy day, which was fine, and I got out a little later than I meant to.  I had an errand to do on my way home so I was a little irked about being behind my own personal schedule.  Then, as I'm driving through town to my one stop, I seem destined to stop at every stop light.  

Every.

Stop light.

And, on top of it I was stuck behind a bus.  And everyone behind me was zooming around to get past the bus so there was no way I felt I could safely switch lanes.  I guess the one thing I can be thankful for is that my ass and/or genitals were not on fire like all the people whizzing past me.  

Despite the stop lights, and the bus, I make it to my destination.  I was in a bit of a mood, but my errand didn't go as slowly as it could have; they had everything I needed and I didn't have to wait in line as long as I am accustom to.  I found myself back in my car in no time.

I pull out on the main road and find myself stuck behind yet another incompetent driver.  I can tell almost as soon as I pull out that I'm going to be mad.  She was driving 10 under the speed limit. 

UGH!

People are already starting to zip past me.  I was done.  I saw a chance to move just as the car behind me did and I cut them off before they could get by me.  My revenge does not stop here.  Not only did I block that car from passing me.  I stopped that car from passing the slow car I was trying to get away from.  And it gets better.  Not only did I stop that one car, I stopped all the cars behind it.  I made sure I did not pass the slow woman, I was either along side her or just slightly ahead.  But this time, she's going almost half the speed limit.  

People other than me were pissed.  I was actually starting to feel pretty okay.

Then in my final act of giving all those people behind me a good "f--k you," at the the place in the road where it merges from two lanes down to one I waited until the last (douchey-est) moment possible, to use that beautiful Hemi engine my amazing husband made sure I had, to zipped around the slow lady in just a way that no one else could get around her.  I drove the rest of the way home (really only 2-3 minutes) the speed limit and with a huge evil grin on my face.

~Emily

Updates to Goals Post

I thought I should post and update to my previous post, Goals.  It's been a few weeks and David and I have been hard at work making changes.  We have been walking every day (except for currently because we are sick and I don't want to leave a snot trail around the neighborhood) and eating better.  It's when I look back that I can see that some good things are happening.

We are both dropping some weight.  I can see things fitting David more loosely (whether he believes me or not).  I know I'm fitting into some stuff that I couldn't wear back when I made the Goals post.  I'm sleeping a little better (when I'm not sick that is).  And now that I have changed my walking shoes I think my back is going to start feeling better as well.  The best thing is having a little more energy (again, when I'm not sick).  I feel more inclined to do things like go to the store with David after work, and make salad fixings for the next day the night before.  I'm not as content being lazy on the couch staring at the TV.  This is a big deal!  Granted it's not getting my cross stitching done, but I feel like I'm getting more things done that I need to be getting done and it makes me feel more accomplished.  

Right now my main goal is to get rid of this cold.  I like the positive changes that have been taking place so I want to get back to work.  Eating right isn't enough for me, I need to be walking.  It's taken me a long time, but I finally understand that.  There has to be that balance between eating enough, but not too much, and being active enough to burn the calories.  There has to be that balance.  I'm down with the diet changes we have made.  Sure, there are things I miss.  But it's just food.  And just because I'm staying away from it now, doesn't mean I can't have some (moderation) down the road.  Right now I'm so motivated to meet my goals that I really do think about things more, like yeah I might really want that frappachino, but I'd really like to get some of the fat clothes out of my closet more.  

So, despite being sick and still having a lot to figure out, I think David and I are doing great!  I'm really proud of all the changes he has made, and how he is taking his own health into his hands.  He is setting an excellent example for me and makes it easier for me to do the same, which I hope in turn helps him keep up his good work.  I should have taken some before pictures, so I could post random progress.  I'll just have to settle for us being more willing to be in pictures and I'll share those. :)

~Emily

Progress!

We took last Thursday and Friday off to make a long weekend, and we spent said long weekend doing something insane.  We purged.

Now don't let your mind go to some dark place where you see us vomiting, or going to a really dark place and doing some sort of cleanse you don't talk about in polite company.  We rented a trash bin and we cleared out the last 10 years-worth of stuff we had been holding on to but were not using.

I'm not going to deny it, I have pack-rat tendencies (I even named the trash bin, Bluey).  I come by it naturally; I think my father's side of the family tend to hold on to things.  So between just holding on to things, and then just having the things you just never got around to tossing (broken chairs, you get the idea) we had some stuff to get rid of.  We've been talking about doing this for awhile so when we finally committed to doing it we came up with our game plan for what absolutely needed to go in that bin first and worked from there.  I'm proud to say thanks to David's hoisting and our ability to work together we got all the stuff out of the house we wanted to get rid of.  There are, or course, still things to toss but now it's more of an as we are reorganizing rooms we toss things.  Very manageable, and very therapeutic to de-clutter.

I think it's really part of the new leaf we are turning over.  You saw my list of goals, where I am listing little things to keep me motivated to get healthy and take better care of myself.  It seems the desire to get healthy and make changes includes the house.  It make sense.  If I'm trying to make smarter, healthier choices for myself I would want to surround myself with smarter, healthier things to make my (our) goals easier.  

It feels good.  It feels right.  I'm tired of feeling squishy and frumpy.  This weekend and our success in operation de-clutter encourage me to continue doing what I need to do.  Now, I'm looking forward to going through each room and making it more like the people we are now rather than the people we were 10 years ago.  

Tuber

There are precious moments in my day where I fall in love with my husband all over again--not to say that I'm not crazy about him all day every day--but every day there is a moment where something happens, or is said or even done where I just can't believe this amazing guy wants to put up with me (all of me).  Here is one of those moments:

We were listening to the radio while driving home from food shopping when a Viagra commercial started playing. The topic was "Are you sick and tired of paying to much for your Viagra?".

Me: I am sick of paying too much for my Viagra.

David: Looks over at me and then back (he was driving). Then he says out of the blue "Lady boner".

Me:  Boner is a funny word.

David:  It is.  Boner.  Boner.  Boner boner boner. Boner.

Me:  It just sounds strange.

David:  And it's wrong, there's no bone down there.  It's misleading.

Me:  Yeah, they should have called it something else.

David:  It's more of a meat tube; a tube of meat; no bone. Frank and beans is far more accurate. Why don't they call it a frankie?

Me:  (there was some giggling about meat tube and frankie)  They should have called it a tuber!

David:  (there was more giggling about tuber) Yes!

And then David started saying tuber like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

David: Tooobah. Tooobah. I went to doctor for Viagra and now I have a permanent toobaah.

I think we took yet another normal innocent word and made it dirty (funny).  No one makes me laugh like David does.  I'm a lucky lady!

~Emily (and David (accuracy is key when talking about toobahs!))