Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Taking Stock

This is another post I'm considering a journal prompt even though it's not one of the Journal Day prompts.  It sparked my interest, and since I'm still writing constipated I figured I'd run with it.

Making:  Plans.  I have a friend from my World of Warcraft family that wants to come out and meet us.  I've known her online/thru texts for at least seven years, if not more.  We are working on planning the great meet-up.

Cooking:  Nothing right now, I'm at work on my lunch break.  I'm lucky, my husband does most (usually all) the cooking.  I am more of a cookie or pie baker.

Drinking:  Coffee, luscious brown liquid of life.  Once that's gone I'll switch to water until I get home and can switch to wine.

Reading:  The Ambassador's Mission, by Trudy Canavan.  It's the first book in the sequel trilogy to her Black Magician Trilogy I just finished.

Looking:  Forward to my tattoo being healed.  The swelling is just about all gone, and it's not as sore and no longer has its own heartbeat.  It's entering the about to peel and itch stage.  I'm ready for that to hurry up and come and go.

Playing:  Music, I love using my iPad as a radio at work.  Currently I'm listening to my KNRK playlist (named after a local radio station 94.7 KNRK) because all the songs on the playlist I heard on that station).

Wasting:  Time.  /sigh.  (I don't mean this post is wasting time, I just mean in general I feel like I'm not taking advantage of my time and writing or reading enough.)

Sewing:  Cross-stitching for a secret project.  I need to get back into working on it.  I stopped because I was having some joint pain in my hands.  I have about 3 pieces to finish, I'm so close!

Wishing:  My back felt better.  It's sore, and I'm worried I'm going to wake up one morning and find I can't get out of bed because moving causes so much pain. (I get overly paranoid about specific things, this is one of them)

Enjoying:  Stepping away from TV (much easier now that shows are wrapping up for the summer) and reading with David.  I like the time snuggled up with him while we are feeding our imaginations.

Waiting:  For this work day to be over.

Liking:  My Cute Animals to Look at On a Bad Day Pinterest board.  So much fuzzy cuteness...

Wondering:  What really did come first, the chicken or the egg?

Loving:  My husband.  Always, constantly.

Hoping:  I will sleep well tonight.

Marveling:  At the stupidity of others.  Seriously. /headdesk

Needing:  A recharge with my husband.  Seems like life is a little crazy right now and it's getting tougher to shake the stress residue.

Smelling:  My coffee.  (I hope it's not my coffee breath)

Wearing:  Appropriate work attire, covering all the tattoos.

Following:  Ya Ya Han on Twitter and Instagram.  Cosplay amuses me, and she is amazing!

Noticing:  That it's getting darker outside, I think it's going to start raining any minute.

Feeling:  Tired.  Sore.

Opening:  Client files.  I'm always organizing, it's a constant ongoing process.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Currently

So I'm considering this a journal prompt even though it's not one of the Journal Day ones.  I figure it sparked my interest, and I haven't been writing, so I'm going to go for it and see what happens.

Doing:  Taking a lunch break.  I'm currently at work looking forward to the end of the day when I get to start a nice long weekend with my husband.  The rest of the day will be spent drafting a lawsuit and making some telephone calls.  Hopefully it will go by fast!

Thinking about:  The end of the day.  Seriously.  It is Memorial Day weekend so I get a 3-day weekend.  I'm thinking about all the things I could do over the weekend, like working on a blog post or playing some World of Warcraft.  I will actually probably end up watching movies and doing laundry.

Watching:  I watch a lot of TV, although it's sort of winding down now with summer coming.  This weekend I'm looking forward to watching Orphan Black, the mid-season finale of Mad Men, Turn, Game of Thrones, and Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing (now on Netflix!).

Looking forward to:  Saturday.  David and I have a tattoo appointment Saturday afternoon.  He's is adding/coming closing to completing a piece on his arm.  I will be starting something new on my right wrist.  I'm looking forward to the tattoo, just not the healing time.  It's my dominant hand, so that should make for some slimy shirts for a few days while I have the protective goo on.  It will go fast, and it is going to be totally worth it.  I really can't wait!

Reading:  I am currently re-reading the The High Lord by Trudy Canavan.  It's the last book in her Black Magician Trilogy.  I'm hoping to download and start reading the Traitor Spy Trilogy next, her sequel to the Black Magician Trilogy.  There are a bunch of books I have on my to read list that I just need to get my hands on and read, but I've been wanting to re-read some old friends.  I just finished re-reading the Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon Sanderson, and the Codex Alera series by Jim Butcher.

Loving:  My husband, always.  My kitty, who has been more chatty lately.  The wine we've been enjoying: 14 Hands: Merlot (yes, it's a fucking Merlot, but it makes me happy).  Fleetwood Mac, they are my jam today.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Thoughts on Marriage, And Why Ours Is Awesome!

I love my husband, and I love the relationship we have.  It is not always perfect, but it is real and most importantly it is ours.  I've had friends tell me our cuteness makes then want to vomit.  Yes.  We are a couple that is that sweet to one another.  No, it is not a show we put on for others-that is just how we are together.  No, we will not stop.  I've had people jokingly tell me I should write about our secret to success.  There is no secret, we are just crazy about one another!  Okay, so maybe there is more than just that.

Relationships are not easy.  We have put a lot of work into what we have today.  I'm not saying it has been hard, it is easy for me to love my husband.  What I'm saying is it has not always been easy.  You can't just expect everything to be perfect all the time.  People have moods, interpret things differently, and do not always communicate well.  I'm not always the most open person, for example, if I get too overwhelmed I shut down.  Despite any obstacles we have encountered we have worked through them together.  We are both fully invested in us and making our marriage work.  Every day it pays off.  I have complete trust in my husband, and I know no matter what he is going to be there for me.  Here are what I think are our keys to success:

Strong Foundation (Trust, Respect)
David and I were friends for over a year before we actually ever met face to face.  It was the kind of friendship where we weren't trying to impress one another, and I feel like we were pretty open and honest with each other from the start.  We knew each other's backgrounds, interests etc.  When we actually met, things proceeded pretty fast.  We were engaged and lived (yes, in sin) together for a year before the wedding.  During this time, all kinds of crazy stuff happened.  I had some family drama going on, we drove (and he moved) from the east coast to the west coast, we house sat in California, we moved to Oregon, I graduated from college, David changed jobs, our nephew was born, we got married, and bought a house (we were waiting to hear we got the house during our honeymoon).  That was just in our first year together.  It was a lot of change for both of us and I think he handled it better than I did, but he was always there for me when I needed him.

Along with sticking through tough things together we make sure we are honest with one another.  From the start, David's one main request was that I be truthful with him even if I didn't think he'd want to hear it.  We don't lie to one another, or keep things (except the occasional fun surprise) from one another.  Knowing that, trust and respect just sort of fall into place and we have this really solid foundation for our relationship.

Relationship Rules (No Bites)
This was another thing we established pretty early on.  Along with the not lying, we also agreed not to call each other names, or be physically violent with one another.  When we have the occasional fall out/argument we refrain from name calling, or any kind of hitting/swatting/angry touching.  I will admit, I can shriek like a howler monkey and sob like a crazy lady, but I don't call my husband names-we stick to those rules.  At the end of a fight, the only regrets we have is that the other was hurt/misunderstood and things escalated.  No hurtful things are said that can't be taken back.

It may seem silly, but it is really important not to hold grudges or let things add up against one another.  I'm not saying we don't get mad at one another, we just don't hold on to things to use against each other later.  We work it out and then let it go.  There is no upper hand in our marriage.  We also don't play the "you got that so I get this" game.  We make sure we have everything we need, and things we want.  It's never a competition.

Talk to Each Other, Be Interested In Each Other (Be a Package Deal)
Seems easy enough, right?  When I say talk to each other I mean talking about EVERYTHING.  We talk about our work day, we talk about silly stuff we saw on the internet, we talk about things we are working/want to be working on.  We giggle together, and are silly together, and drink wine while looking at the ocean together.  We talk, even if it's just for a minute, at lunch time just to say hi.  We text if it is a rough day and need a friendly word.  When he is out of town for work I send him silly pictures, he sends some back.  We are never out of touch, we just are not together as much as we would like to be.  We do not take separate vacations.  We are a package deal.

We take interest in what the other is interested in even if it is not something we are into.  David has gone sewing/stamping shopping with me more times than I can count, and I go wood/workshop shopping with him any time he needs supplies.  If it is important to him, it is important to me.  He does the same thing.

Don't Give Up
When things get tough don't just give up.  You relationship is something you have to nurture-both of you.  If you just give up or ignore things you don't want to deal with they don't go away.  You have to learn to work through disagreements and hard topics like expenses and what to do for date night or you are always going to struggle and the same issues will keep cropping up.  How else will you learn how to be there for one another during the hard times?  If you do not feel comfortable talking about everything with your spouse, how will you survive the things that are really hard to talk about like loss of a job, or a family member?  Those are times when you need someone to hold you and tell you it will get better.  I know without a doubt I have that with David.

How I Look at Marriage
I married David because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.  I want to do everything with him by my side, and I want to be by his.  Our marriage is a partnership, where we are both equal contributors to the partnership.  Sure, we have our ups and downs, and misunderstandings and disagreements.  But ultimately we love and respect one another.  David is without a doubt my best friend, and I consider myself to be one very lucky lady to have him as my husband.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Journal Day #11

Journal Day #11 - Room for Improvement
Prompt:  Sometimes it can be hard to hear criticism from others.  I know for me it's something I may always struggle with-being a people pleaser, etc.  At the same time though, constructive criticism can be very helpful, and allow us to look at ourselves in a new light and maybe even grow and change.  Take a step out of yourself.  If you were on the outside looking in, how would you critique yourself?  What things do you see that could change or work on?  This isn't about tearing ourselves down; it's about really looking at ourselves and seeing where there's room for growth.

I would tell myself I need to be more patient.  Especially at work.  I get in such a big hurry, or I get sucked into a project and I am less patient and helpful with people calling in looking for help.  I get so wrapped up in how busy and overwhelmed I am that I am quick to dump people into voice mail.  I used to talk to people, and let them do their initial emotional dump with me before speaking with an attorney.  I need to tap back into some of that compassion, and be willing to give people a minute or two of my time.  When I first started in this field of work, I was told I was too nice.  Now I think I'm leaning towards the other extreme (not that I've been told I'm too mean-at least not yet).

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!