Friday, April 19, 2013

Oh How I Love My Hemi

So yesterday I was kind of grumpy.  It had been a busy day, which was fine, and I got out a little later than I meant to.  I had an errand to do on my way home so I was a little irked about being behind my own personal schedule.  Then, as I'm driving through town to my one stop, I seem destined to stop at every stop light.  

Every.

Stop light.

And, on top of it I was stuck behind a bus.  And everyone behind me was zooming around to get past the bus so there was no way I felt I could safely switch lanes.  I guess the one thing I can be thankful for is that my ass and/or genitals were not on fire like all the people whizzing past me.  

Despite the stop lights, and the bus, I make it to my destination.  I was in a bit of a mood, but my errand didn't go as slowly as it could have; they had everything I needed and I didn't have to wait in line as long as I am accustom to.  I found myself back in my car in no time.

I pull out on the main road and find myself stuck behind yet another incompetent driver.  I can tell almost as soon as I pull out that I'm going to be mad.  She was driving 10 under the speed limit. 

UGH!

People are already starting to zip past me.  I was done.  I saw a chance to move just as the car behind me did and I cut them off before they could get by me.  My revenge does not stop here.  Not only did I block that car from passing me.  I stopped that car from passing the slow car I was trying to get away from.  And it gets better.  Not only did I stop that one car, I stopped all the cars behind it.  I made sure I did not pass the slow woman, I was either along side her or just slightly ahead.  But this time, she's going almost half the speed limit.  

People other than me were pissed.  I was actually starting to feel pretty okay.

Then in my final act of giving all those people behind me a good "f--k you," at the the place in the road where it merges from two lanes down to one I waited until the last (douchey-est) moment possible, to use that beautiful Hemi engine my amazing husband made sure I had, to zipped around the slow lady in just a way that no one else could get around her.  I drove the rest of the way home (really only 2-3 minutes) the speed limit and with a huge evil grin on my face.

~Emily

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