Die Cigarrettes

***I read through this post again before I went to hit post and thought I needed to make sure I made something very clear.  This post is in no way about any of my friends who smoke.  My friends are all aware, clean and thoughtful people and I just want to make it clear this is not about any of you!  Also, my friends don't feel the need to bathe in stinky perfume, so thank you for that too.***


With the season of sinus trouble approaching, or already here (really depends on the day) things are about to get icky for me.  I have no clue what it is specifically that sets me off but since I have made Willamette Valley my home allergies seem to have set in.  Most of the time I can keep things tolerable with adjusting the air conditioning and little red pills (that used to be stronger before Meth-heads f-ed that up for us but that is a whole other rant).  As long as I keep a good temperature/pill balance I'm usually okay.  This balance is delicate however, and any strong odors can mess me up for the day.  The worst offenders:  cigarette smoker stink and/or heavy floral perfume (the combination of the two is a totally migraine starter).  It will feel like all my airways are closing off and then the headache (worst case migraine) sets in.  The smell  lingers longer for me.  I can smell it in my hair and clothes hours later.  I apparently have keen sense of pew-stinky smells.

Two of my favorite things-Coffee and an owl!

I really don't need another reason to be anti-cigarette.  I have seen the health risks at the worst, and have lost people I care about because of them.  Honestly, I don't get the cigarette draw.  Sure, I smoked some in college.  It just seemed to go with all the drinking I was doing.  It never really did anything for me except made my hair and clothes stink (even then I couldn't stand the smell).  If it was supposed to relax me, it didn't work.  I would much rather toss back a beer or enjoy a glass of wine-neither of which make me reek to high heaven.  Or even coffee, how could I forget my luscious brown liquid of life!  To be fair, I understand these beverages can do nasty things to ones breath, and I do try to be aware of that.  I have an assortment of gum and or mints on hand to help protect others from mouth stink.

Where I can suck on a mint, chomp some gum or even brush my teeth to combat offending odors, these are all relatively easy things to do.  I understand for smokers that it isn't that simple.  It's not realistic to change or shower after every smoke, and I know that changing clothes doesn't always do the trick, especially if you smoke in your home (and to be fair, it is your home and you can do whatever you want in it.), that smoke just lingers and clings to everything.  So for most people there are two options:  don't do a damn thing or bathe in a vat of really strong perfume.  Let me just say, DO NOT BATHE IN PERFUME.  It does not mask the cigarette smell, it only combines with it to make a new mutant hybrid migraine trigger. So not only do you smell like a cigarette, but you smell like you are wearing cigarette perfume too.  Not flattering.

While I'm on the subject, and since I'm already rambling, what is it with all the people on the cooking reality shows being chain smokers?  Doesn't smoking kill some of your ability to taste and smell (yes to the smell, because see above paragraph)?  Why would you do anything that would hinder you in your chosen career path?  It seems like you would want to have your taste and smell senses be above par.

I know I'm being mean and picky.  People are addicted to cigarettes and it's not just easy to stop.  Since I'm being mean anyway, all I'm asking is for people to think about how the smell.  The world is already changing, there are restrictions on where people can smoke because of people walking into buildings and not wanting to walk through the smoke.  It feels like maybe part of the world is trying to do it's part to make this deadly (smelly) habit less friendly for people.  While I understand the frustration of a group of people feeling like their rights are being taken away I ask them to remember that what they are doing is more than a health risk to just them.  Maybe the way my body reacts is my own way of protecting me from getting cancer from cigarettes (however I am still in danger of getting cancer from pink slime).  Am I asking too much in asking for a world where people bathe, or make sure they smell like a summer day before they go into public places?  I'm a dreamer, what can I say.

Since people don't seem to care, I'm going to be super thankful for air freshener.