Lack of Sleep+Bad Dreams=Emo Post

Last night I had an awful dream.  In my dream something had happened to David, and I was suddenly forced to go on without him.  You know the type of dream, and how icky it feels and how sometimes you just can’t wake up and stop it.  It made me think about some things.

I can remember growing up and having those dreams except instead of losing David (as we did not know of each others awesomeness yet) it would be losing a parent(s) or sibling(s) or the family pet(s).  Occasionally I still dream I lose a family member, and they are no less devastating.  I’m older now, and I have a support system all my own now.  Things are so different when you are a child and still dependent on your parents for everything.  

It makes me realize how completely intertwined my life is with his.  How just about everything I do every day he is a part of.  He is my coffee slurping partner every morning.  He is the moisturizer of my tattoo.  He is the person I have to email the really silly crap that happens that I know only he will find silly, and I email him almost daily.  We talk every day at lunch, even if briefly and no matter what mood we are in.  He is the one I text every day just before I leave to let him know I’m on my way and to see if there is anything I need to get for our evening.  He is my zombie apocalypse partner.  He is my opener of wine.  He is the person I seek comfort from after a really bad day, his hugs can cure just about anything.  Can I live without him?  Sure.  But life is so much better with him.  

Loss is the risk part of letting other people into your life, I understand that.  It’s the trade off for getting to share even the smallest amount of time with someone amazing.  My. Heart. Hurts. at the thought of not hearing my husband call me “lady.”  The life we share now is so worth the broken heart.  My life has been so much more full, and wonderful with him in it.  He has helped me become a stronger person and I know that I will be okay no matter what happens.  That is one of his ongoing gifts to me.  I can only hope I have done something similar for him.

Losing people you love just flat out sucks.  No doubt about it.  No way to change it.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about family no longer with us and feel sad.  Some days I can talk about it or share a memory with out crying, some days I have to bawl my eyes out.  But at the end of the day, and the thing I guess I’m trying to say with this post (other than I love my husband) is that the good memories and the good things you experience from loving those people and letting them be a part of your life is worth the heartache of eventually having to say goodbye.  If your lucky, someone feels the same way about you.  Cherish those people who make you feel as loved as you do them.  We’ll all pull through okay.

Squirrels vs. Crows

As I am sitting at my desk watching the clock slowly wind its way to 4:30-I mean working really hard I will glance out the window and catch the battle of the ages taking place.  Yes.  Squirrels vs. Crows.  

Across the street from the office I work in is a grassy plot of land with room to roam and a few trees to lurk in.  It’s like a mini-park.  Really, it’s just a piece of land that has not been built on yet.  I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.  But for now, it’s ground zero.

On a cool clear day like today the squirrels are out in full force.  I honestly don’t know how many of them dwell in the land across the street.  I have seen at least 8 at a time running around twirling their tails and doing squirrel things.  Today there are three, one watching and two covering the land.  And when I say covering the land I mean hopping about through leaves (I bet they going “boing boing boing” in their heads as they hop about) and chasing each other up and down trees to hop through more leaves.  All in all, very cute.

Then the crows descend.

That’s when the squirrels turn from chasing one another to full on assault on the crows.  Any spot the crows land, the squirrels charge at.  I have never seen a squirrel move so fast, and I have never seen a crow get chased of by something so small!  After about 3 minutes the crows give up and head for the skies again and the squirrels resume chasing one another.

I love mother nature’s drama!

My First Tattoo

This year for my birthday I wanted a tattoo.  David was on board, and supportive.  Ok, he's been beyond on board and supportive.  He is the one who washed it for me, put the icky sticky goo on for the first three days and then the lotion after.  My sister, Sara, introduced us to the amazing artist that did her tattoo and the rest is history!  So here is it, part one, healed and ready for part two (shading and color):

Art and tattoo by the amazing Alena Chun at Icon Tattoo in Portland, Oregon

More pics will come after part two has healed up, so sometime after Thanksgiving. :)

October Bend Trip

I will update this more soon-just wanted to get the pictures up :)

Bauman's Farm, 2011

This year David and I got to share the farm with my parents.  It was their first visit, and hopefully not their last.  My sister Melanie and her family were able to join us this year.  This was not their first visit, but it had been awhile since they had been there and a lot had changed.  Ben and Sara were going to join us, but Sara was getting over a cold so they met up with us after for lunch and visiting.  It was a lovely day.  Here are some pictures from the farm.  I have to say, I loved seeing all the things through the eyes of W and Peanut. I can't wait to see how they tackle things next year!

Getting ready for the fun!

A word of encouragement and she's off!

Waiting for apple canon fun

Figuring out the fort

W has things figured out!

Crazy, in the crazy cage!

<3

I kind of look huge, but aren't we cute?

I'm the apple of someone's eye!

Duck...

Duck...duck...

GOOSE!

W had a lot of fun with the peddle cars!

It's about time to head home for lunch!

Thank you Bauman's, for another fun way to celebrate fall!

Hopefully this is something we can all do again next year.  It was nice to hang out as a family and watch the kids go down slides and eat apple cider donuts.  Thanks everyone for coming down and hanging out with us at one of our favorite places!