Currently

I've been wanting to blog, but have been having trouble finding something I can really sit and write about.  I'm still here.  I'm just tired.  It's a crazy time of year in my family.  August and September are two big birthday months, and it just seems like everything is going to happen all at the same time.  Since I'm brain dead I thought I'd do a currently post.  Without further ado...

Doing:  Watching some recorded tv, sipping wine, looking at converse and giggling with my husband about how many pairs of converse we actually need.  (The answer is there there is no set number, we need all the shoes)

Thinking about:  The crazy months ahead.  This month is fully of birthdays, as is next month.  We have gifts bought, and plans made, but there is still this crazy feeling.  It's not a bad thing, being busy helps make the hot time of year go by a little bit faster.

Watching:  One of our favorite summer time programs is So You Think You Can Dance-it it is on its 11th season right now and just as exciting as the first!  We've also been watching some Master Chef, and The Strain.  In between all of that we have been marathoning CSI: Miami.  I had no idea there were 10 seasons of that show.  We are in season 4 now.

Looking forward to:  Wednesday and Sunday.  We get to see my sister and the kids tomorrow!  We also get to give our nephew his birthday gift-I hope he is as excited as we are!  Then Sunday we get to see them again for our niece's birthday!  They are such amazing kids.  Sweet and shy, and I love them to pieces!

Reading:  I just finished re-reading the Cousin's War and the Tudor Series by Philippa Gregory.  I'm currently re-reading the Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris.  Once I get all that out of my system I have some new books to read that I'm looking forward to, like the new Harry Dresden book, Skin Games.

Loving:  My husband, of course.  But also some wine, from Revelry.  We've had the Merlot (yes, I like fucking Merlot-and anyone who has watched Sideways will get that), and the Cabernet Sauvignon and have enjoyed both very much.

I think that's about it for now.  I hope everyone else is doing well and enjoying what is left of the summer!

Puppy and her Toy

I haven't posted any cat pictures for awhile.  I guess I haven't really been taking as many pictures, or I'm just lazy.  What ever the case, these pictures were too cute not to share!

When my friend from Georgia visited, she brought Puppy some presents.  One of them was a catnip cigar.  This is Puppy enjoying her cigar!

Checking it out...seeing if it's worth her notice.

Definitely interested.

Clearly it belongs to her-and if we try to take it we will come away with a bloody stump!

She actually really likes it.  Unfortunately, catnip makes Puppy mean.  She doesn't get it very often, but when she does she's really cute with it.  We just have to wait for her to be completely done with it.  Then she removes herself from the toy and we are able to put it away without incident.  Whatever her mood, she's always entertaining and we are crazy about her.  I am a crazy cat lady.

Taking Stock

I thought maybe I'd try to post one of these once a month.  Here is one for July!

Making:  Piles.  I'm trying to pick up some of my messes and put stuff away.  I have a lot of sorting I need to do.  How does that happen?

Cooking:  Nothing right now.  Maybe I'll find some inspiration this weekend!  I really wish I didn't crave junk food, because I just can't make and have that stuff in the house.

Drinking:  Dr. Pepper and water.

Reading:  Re-reading "Living Dead in Dallas" by Charlaine Harris.  I wish the TV show wouldn't have gone so far off track.

Looking:  Forward to having my husband home.  He's been out of town for work and I really miss him when he's gone.  I don't like time away from him, and I know he's not happy either.  I'm looking forward to the first hug when he comes into the house.

Playing:  Facebook games.  I can't help myself.

Wasting:  Time.  I'm restless and having a hard time focusing on one task.

Sewing:  I'm working on getting my next project mapped out.  I finished the secret project, it's in someone else's hands now.  It's nice to be done with it and able to start my next one.

Wishing:  For a long weekend.  I wish this weekend was a three day (or longer, hee hee) weekend.

Enjoying:  So You Think You Can Dance.  I look forward to it every season, and I can't wait to watch last nights episode with David this weekend.  So much talent, and amazing dancing!

Waiting:  For David's plan to land.  (Can you tell I miss him?)

Liking:  The crazy blue nail polish I have on.  (it's called Liberty)

Wondering:  What tomorrow has in store for me.

Loving:  My husband.  Always.

Hoping:  Tomorrow goes fast.

Marveling:  At how fast the grass has been growing.

Needing:  A beach weekend with David.  We will have one, just have to survive the summer first!

Smelling:  The lingering aroma of sweet potato fries.

Wearing:  Casual attire.  T-shirt and jeans with red converse.

Following:  Several texts with friends and family.

Noticing:  I'm really good at spacing out and getting distracted.

Feeling:  Wiped out.

Opening:  Browser windows, so I can blog and play Facebook games.

Journal Day #14

Journal Day #14 - Plans
Prompt:  Think about the plans you had for your adult self when you were younger-would you say they match up to your reality today?  What did you wish for your future when you were a child?  Did you have a plan?  And would you say you've followed that plan in any way?  This week, look at the life you hoped to have (even if you consider your childhood "dreams" silly now) and see how your current life compares.

Growing up I wanted to be like my mom.  I wanted to be married and have kids.  I wanted a house, and pets (cats).  And I was going to be a nurse, just like my mom.  Then I discovered I didn't deal well with the sight of blood (translation: I would see blood and pass out).  Being a nurse was no longer party of my vision.  Then I wanted to be a teacher (English or Music), or maybe a librarian.  I would write in my free time.  I wanted to be surrounded by books and office supplies.  I have always liked office supplies.

By the time college rolled around my vision of my future changed a lot.  With the way music programs were being cut left and right a future as a music teacher wasn't too promising.  Grades were also an obstacle for me and getting into the education program and competing with all the others in the program was just not something I could handle.  But that was okay.  I would find something, I would figure things out.  One thing I learned (as much as I hate a plan not working out, or not even having a plan to begin with) was how to roll with things.  I have always done things the hard way, or gone the long way around.  So while my plan was taking some time to reformulate I pursued a business degree with an English minor.

I graduated.  I met and married a wonderful man.  We moved into a lovely home, and adopted a fur-kid.  So I didn't become a teacher.  I did graduate with a business degree and have used that in my job as a I'm a legal assistant (I'm being sarcastic, mostly).  We don't have kids, but I'm finally at peace with that.  I have an amazing relationship with my husband, which I've gushed about before so won't go on and on about how lucky I know I am.  I feel like the important things I wished for happened.  I may not have followed my plan, but I think I learned to follow my path.  I'm happy, and I believe my life turned out better than what I thought I wanted when I was younger.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Journal Day #13

Journal Day #13 - State of Me
Prompt:  This week, write a "State of Me" address.  Write about how you're really doing-what you've been thinking, what you've been up to.  What have you accomplished lately?  Where is there room for growth?  Where are you right now in life and where are you headed?  Current joys, current sadness...write it all out.  Discuss the current state of YOU.

I like to think I'm generally a good-natured, nice person.  Lately, I'm not gonna lie, I've been a bit of a grump.  I think I'm a little overwhelmed at work.  There are lots of changes and things looming on the horizon, but there are a lot of unknowns with these changes and that makes planning (something I have to do or I get really grumpy and stressed out) nearly impossible.  I've been feeling very short-tempered and short on patience.

I've also been dealing with some health frustrations that just don't seem to want to cut me a break.  We had to select a new health care provider because our wonderful doctor moved.  It took way to long to get that sorted out, and now that we have it sorted out we have our "meet our new provider" appointments set.  Meanwhile prescriptions are running out (which I know we can get refilled, it's just one more thing that has to be harder than it needs to be to get it done), and I have some concerns about one that I've been taking.  While it's (last I knew) doing the job it was intended for, I believe it may be holding back (or, stopping completely) my weight loss.  All the weight I lost previously has come back, rather quickly, and is not dropping.  I've been walking with David for a few months and eating smarter and I haven't even shed a pound.  Before the meds, I would have lost at least a pound every other week.  It's very disheartening to be overweight and trying to tackle it with little to no success.  So now I have do decide, do I go off the meds and see if that's what was preventing weight loss but lose the benefits of the meds for the reason I'm taking them?  Weight loss and a healthier diet did not help the other problem, hence the meds.  I just feel like I can't win.  I'm always going to have weight problems, I like food to much.  But I was doing so good, and was actually feeling better and now...now, I'm just frustrated with myself, embarrassed, and depressed.

So I'm fat, depressed, and I haven't been writing.  I've tried, but I find I'm just chewing on my pen staring at lined paper wishing I could write more than "all work and no play makes Emily a dull girl."  And, I should confess I haven't even written that.

My happy place, the thing that keeps me going even when I don't want to crawl out of bed int he morning, is my husband.  Even when I'm feeling insecure and really crappy about myself, he is there cheering me on.  No questions, no pushing, no judgment.  He just loves me and gets that I'm going to cry during certain episodes of Doctor Who or Dexter.  I look forward to our weekends together doing things around the house or marathoning something fun on TV.

Something strange has been happening the last few nights, something I feel like I haven't had happen in years and it's happened the last few nights, I wake up and remember my dreams.  They aren't anything noteworthy.  One was riding a whale in a grocery store, and the other was building a tree house and doing the plumbing so my dad wouldn't have to.

I have got to get out of this rut.  I have an amazing husband who needs me to be tuned in for him, we are each others person (Grey's fans will get the reference).  I have sisters, and birthdays and things and I need to be here and engaged for them, because these are all good and positive things I look forward to every year.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!

Just Us Girls

When David has to go out of town (which thankfully is not very often) Puppy has a series of feelings I imagine she goes though.  I am a crazy cat lady.

She looks for him in the evenings.  David works from home and is in the house with her during the day.  She'll never admit it, but she likes having him around.  When he's not here she paces, and looks like she is waiting for him to appear.  Then she determines he's not coming back and she gets clingy.  Any time I'm sitting down she has to be on my lap.  But it's the on my lap off my lap, on my lap off my lap, just enough to make it hard to do anything.  Then I get this:

I feel this is the "what did you do to David" face.   She starts getting pissy with me, and glares at me.  This isn't unusual.  She goes from cute and loving to bitey and mean in the blink of an eye.  It's just more fun to be creative with her moods and what they mean when David is away.

This is just a short trip.  David will be home to us in no time and life will be back to normal. 

Journal Day #12

Journal Day #12 - Love
Prompt:  Let's talk about love.  Do you believe in the idea of a soul mate?  Do you think there is one person for everyone-and do you think that no matter what, if you're "supposed" to meet that person you will?  This week, talk about your experience with love and discuss what you believe, and also be sure to touch on what helped shape those beliefs.

I do believe in the idea of soul mates.  I am lucky enough to have been found by mine, and even luckier that he married me!  The first time he hugged me there was no doubt he is my one.  David said that was the moment all the cosmic tumblers fell into place.  This part of me that had been missing was found and put where it belonged, I felt at peace and complete.

If I look back I feel like all my choices lead me down the path to meeting David.  With my grades the only college I was able to get into was Western Oregon University.  While at Western I met Fenton, which led me to meeting Cestus.  While being friends with Cestus I was introduced to David.  I talk about some of the journey here.  It was not easy, at the time I had no idea where I was going.  Looking back on all of it, the good and the bad, what I have now shines so bright all that other stuff doesn't matter anymore.  I have my happily ever after.

Thank you for the prompt Sometimes Sweet!