Goals

Life has this way of throwing curve balls at you.  One of my survival instincts is to take those situations and find the positives.  I don't do well with bad news, I tend to shut down.  I don't like shutting down, so I have adapted.  Anyway, it is time to make some life changes and to help me stay focused and on track I'm making a list of long term and short term goals/things to look forward to.  Ultimately the main goal is getting healthy and staying healthy, and being the support for my husband to do the same.  We are responsible for our own heath, but if we are both striving towards the same goal our chances of success are much better.  Now for the icing on the cake:

Short/medium term: (changes I'll start seeing after a month and onward)

• bye bye shortness of breath
• dropping down sizes and being able to purge some clothes to make room for shoes
• more energy
• sleeping better (hopefully snoring less)
• feeling better about myself, dressing better, maybe actually feeling more girly
• more tattoos (always)

Long term: (things to aim/look forward to)

• walking into a store like Nordstroms and being able to buy a suit (with alterations of course, I'm short and will always be curvy)
• being able to buy clothes off the rack in a store that is not Lane Bryant
• possibly being able to fit into some naughty boots
• back and knee pain less of an issue because they hurt less because I'm not a lazy lump
• fitting more comfortably into airplane seats (seeing more of the world with David would be awesome)
• fitting more comfortably into venue seats (concerts, and more importantly a Canucks game!)
• more locations for tattoos (less self-conscience about body)
• Steampunk outfit (need I say more?)

Well, that's a start.  I'm sure I'll think of more.  

Voice, Balance and Discretion

At night as I'm falling asleep I draft these amazing blog posts in my head.  I just know they are witty, clever, and insightful.  Unfortunately I fall asleep and remember nothing except maybe a vague hint of what I wanted to write about.

Fat lot of good that does me.  

This happened to me last night.  This morning the only thing I remembered was "kids."  There are so many directions that could take, but I have no clue where my mind was in regards to "kids" last night.  It could have been anything from thoughts about friends who have kids who seem utterly miserable, or happy reflections on times with my sisters kids, or even melancholy thoughts about not having any of our own.  My mind drifts so easily as I'm drifting off.  I guess I will never know.

I like to think whatever it was, it was something insightful, entertaining and witty.  I'm afraid if there were a way to record the draft post I was composing that I would look back on it in the morning and wonder what kind of drugs I was on.  Again, I guess I will never know.

All I do know is it leaves me with an itch to blog but nothing to blog about.  I do things.  I have things happen.  For some reason I have a really hard time being able to determine what I can post about, and what things are better left unsaid.  (Must protect the guilty)  So, rather than taking a small leap and posting I second guess myself and keep quiet.  How does one find a voice, or the balance to write about things experienced without pissing off the people around them?  Or getting fired.  

Maybe I'm not as clever as I think I am.  I can't come up with super awesome nicknames for people and write about things in ways that it makes them vague?  So far, no I can't.  I'l keep looking for the secret.  Until then, dear reader, you get what you get.  I'm sharing what I feel comfortable sharing-I respect David and his privacy.  Puppy, however, is a different story.  

Until next time, good night.

~Emily